How to handle an out-of-control mother in law?

She does seem overly involved and not very considerate to your feelings. Why don't you and her go out to lunch, tell her how you feel. Don't make all te things she does negative, say I appreciate the help its just he is my first son. Mothers especially new ones feel they have lost control. Its not easy being a mom, EVER. Smile. She seems like a dramatic women so if you tell her how you feel and that you really appreciate all her help you just want to be there for all his first. It may not go well but the talk will make her aware. You and your fiance need o be on the same page. Get a part time job maybe. You can earn money and you obviously have her to help out with the baby. Then you won't be so annoyed with her help. Your in her home so it is hard to say something. But its also not the life you want to lead so compromise.